Hamilton Musings
The Power of Connections
Summary:This blog explores the difference between contacts and connections.
My Outlook file is full of them, I have many business cards stacked away in corners of my desk, when you meet someone at a conference or workshop, you make a contact. Over the course of a career, how many contacts do we make, over the course of a day, week or year, there are dozens of casual contacts made and the promise (often unfulfilled) of following up, with information, resources, shared approaches, synergies.
Yesterday, driving between meetings (having just made 7 new contacts), I listened to Sounds Like Canada where Kevin Sylvester and his life coach were discussing the difference between contacts and connections.
It occured to me, that this conversation is particularly relevant to collaborative problem solving initiatives. In an effort to engage the community in the collaborative process, how many relationships made are maintained solely at the contact level and how many move to the connection level?
It's much easier to manage at the contact level, I'm afraid. There's not alot of risk, no worry about objections, no real need to delve below the surface of the contact.
But there is no real reward when we remain only as contacts.
In previous posts, I've explored the social dimension of networks and the complexity of relationships. This dynamic tension between contacts and connections, it seems to me, could enrich complex problem solving. But in itself there is also complexity.
How do we surface and deal with the tensions embedded in moving to a more connective relationship? What skills, competencies and strategies do we have as leaders to cope with true connection?
The connection competency might be a leadership skill worth exploring. It speaks to the need for authentic conversations, an ability to tolerate tension, some risk in terms of dealing with vulnerability (our own and others), and I believe the courage to move beyond the contact.
I'm going to challenge myself to explore the contact ~ connection paradigm. I would love to hear your thoughts about this idea.
2 Comments
Susan Eckerle Curwood
Liz -
This reminds me of an article I was reading recently about the "elevator speech." I've always been dreadfully uncomfortable with the elevator speech, and I really liked this article, because instead of once again reiterating how important it is to have this 30-second sell of yourself or your organization, it really let me put my finger on WHY the elevator speech is so uncomfortable for me. And you've done the same here - it's the difference between seeking contacts, which is what the elevator speech does, and seeking connections.
You give that elevator speech, you're in effect saying to someone, "I've never met you before and may never see you again - and given that, the single most important thing I want to tell you is how you can help me." If you're not trying to make a contact, you could talk about anything - and may end up creating a real connection, with all the reciprocity that implies.
It still remains, though, that most connections are accidental (at least for me!) - they're things I find when I was really out looking for something else entirely.
Which brings me to the notion of sharing crayons. . .which I am now going to go write about in my own blog!
Thanks for the inspiration.
Brenda Doner
Liz, your comments also struck home with me. I've been trying to think of a structure for organizing the information on this online community -- and feeling that any 'topics' I come up with miss most of the important stuff -- the connections and relationships -- so I am also inspired to go and blog about it! Thanks for a generative piece!
Brenda